In a world of hookups, breakups, and endless dating disasters, it’s easy to feel a little lost as you’re trekking through the wilderness of opposite sex options. Whether you’re experiencing high-tide or even a drought, it is always important to remember to keep an open mind and an open heart.
Maybe your last relationship didn’t turn out so well but that wall you’ve put up isn’t only keeping other people out. It’s also keeping you in. Feelings aren’t like a faucet. You can’t turn them off whenever you want. If you’re still getting over someone who hurt you- or your pride, you just need to realize that you will always have a soft spot for your ex. Whenever people talk to me about their past relationships and question if they should get involved with their ex again, I advise them to think about all of the worst aspects of that relationship. It is important to keep in mind that that is what you’re really going back to. Getting back together with your ex usually only turns into a cycle of breaking up and getting back together, leading to more drama and exhaustion than anyone needs. Remember that you broke up for a reason and though it’s important to take time to move past your last relationship, there comes a time when you just need to move on and maybe even walk up to that cutie at homebar and spit some game. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone who blows your past relationships out of the water.
For those of you running around and getting together with anyone your hormones tell you to, it might be nice to take a breather. Maybe you’ll even realize that you’re thirsty for something with a little more substance. If you’re not looking to take a break from playing the field, it might be a good idea to keep an eye out for someone you actually respect, though there’s no promising that your dirty deeds won’t ruin your chances (he or she might have to pass on the gonnorsyphillaids that you should prrrobably get tested for.) Some try to get the best of both worlds and enjoy the single life without letting their boyfriend or girlfriend know. If you’re doing this, you need to realize the importance of trust in a relationship and that breaking that trust leads to irreparable damage. Maybe your partner won’t break up with you but you’ll lose respect for them for keeping you around. It’s a lose-lose. Just know that you might be hurting them but you’re really doing more damage to yourself. It’s easy for cheating to harden into habit and if it’s a first time endeavor for you, you aren’t in a relationship with the right person. That person in your Spanish class might be a hottie but you should remember everything you’ve invested in your current relationship before you decide to make any moves. It’s never justifiable and if you’re waiting for the next best thing anyways maybe you should take some time get out of your relationship and focus on yourself.
If you’re looking to get more involved in the dating scene, you should remember not to set your sights on people that aren’t trying to do the same thing. Use your intuition to tell if someone is genuine before you drop your partying money on taking them out or hook up with them hoping they’ll like you back. They’re probably just getting a kick out of using you and thoroughly enjoy the ego stroke. If you’re on the other end of that situation, try to decline drinks or dinner from men you aren’t interested in/don’t hook up with girls you don’t like. Word spreads that you’re not sincere and people will, sooner or later, catch on to your douchebaggery. When you’re casting your lines and reeling in your options, keep in mind that confidence is the best bait. Stand up straight, look people in the eye, and don’t be afraid to be flirtatious. Complaining, rambling about yourself, pretentiousness, self-consciousness, egotism? Unsexy. Smiling, talking about your interests instead of other people, humor, and a little hard-to-get? Very sexy. Remember that people like feeling good about themselves so throwing in a subtle compliment or two might just keep them coming back for more.
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